No Good Welfare Bums or Express Lane Heroes?

They must have felt the energy. I've been seething with it since the term 'homeland security' was coined. The reactionary measures after the capture of the underwear bomber just didn't help any. Each time I go to the airport and see the horde of TSA's standing around I just can't help but think about the misappropriated tax money which funds the boondoggle. Ridiculous money wasted in the pursuit of tricking travelers into thinking they are safe when they board a skybus that also has the potential to become a 180,000lb. missile.

They know I think of them like this because as hard as I try to hide it, I just exude pure resentment in a stinky and snide sort of way. Ugly.

I wasn't too surprised when I was the first one "randomly" selected for the full monty shakedown. I hadn't shaved, the hatred was flowing, my mop is longish and let's face it, I got crazy in my eye.

They were efficient and almost sort of timid. Almost sorrowful for what they "had" to do. One guy reluctantly took apart my bags while another frisked me. Got the full pat down both front and backside. Without a reason to be nervous, I still was. As they finished me up I suddenly thought about all the eyes laid upon me. Many suspicious eyes wondering, judging, burning, searing. Maybe some of those eyes were even hoping they might have caught one.

They didn't though. I wasn't the one they thought I could be.


There was a tremendous upside to the whole thing which I immediately found thanks for. At crowded Gate B36 a full and groggy flight of passengers were waiting to board the 757. When the TSA deemed me clean of explosives they released me into the priority boarding line (with the women w/children and other powerful business travelers.) Had I been released into the general boarding line there would've been no way I could have stored both my bags in the overhead above seat 32D.

The TSA saved me $20 in travel box fees and more importantly, saved me a trip to baggage claim!

So anyway, thanks for the scrutiny and giving me powerful business traveler privilege. I couldn't have gotten out of that terminal quick enough.