Senator Wondercrack's Auto Bailout Stimulation Package:

Yes Detroit, Mexico and multi-national affiliates.....you can have it all! I will authorize the full $34 billion. The whole enchilada is conditionally yours for the asking. The real question is, can you meet the terms?

1.) Instead of the money going directly to you GM/Ford/Chrysler or however you spell it, the full $34 billion will be distributed to any licensed American who wants to buy a new vehicle from you.

but

2.) Any vehicle purchased must meet mpg standards of no less than 60 miles per gallon on the highway.

3.) Each vehicle sold must be powered by a renewable energy source such as biodiesel, solar power, etc.

4.) The tires on each vehicle must be built to last the entire life of the vehicle.

5.) And finally, you need to work together to implement a cohesive action plan that will adress the repair of planet earth. The goal: patch your part of the ozone hole.

I know, these standards are stringent and lofty....most will claim even ridiculous! But then again how badly do you want that money?