off time

Over April school vacation week I busied myself with camping at Mercey Hot Springs, hanging at the beach, throwing too many frisbees and finishing off my garden. Although I was thankful for the time off I was surprisingly edgy, restless, unsatisfied, irritated and quite strangely vexed.

Can you even imagine? All that sounds like total luxury to me but for some reason I just felt off. Even doing the things I love couldn't bring me happiness.

I guess it felt like an odd time for vacation. At work we're gearing up for our big move. We're pulling up stakes and moving across town. It's all a three month process and this break should have been the calm before the storm but instead it was like standing on deck and watching this looming beast of a front before you with total knowledge that in a lick of time you will be be hurled into the pure and wicked belly of it. Not so relaxing.

My back fucking hurt too. I've been having some kind of lower back issues inciting misery and persistent discomfort. Even 102 degree mineral soaks wouldn't alleviate the dull throb. The only time it feels good theese days is when I'm busy and when I'm hucking frisbees too fast.

I know boo-hoo, poor me.....whatever, it is what it is, or was what it was.

Been back to work this week and life is busy but I feel better being here. Just getting back to the kids has lifted my spirits and starting to tackle our mountain of tasks feels like I'm doing something....something productive. Even my back feels better this week.

Not sure it's always so good for me to be thrown off my rhythm....especially when so much is up in the air. Fuck April vacation!