Must See TV
wooond----ercra-k lllllllllloooovvvveeeeesss reality tveeeeeeeeeeeee
w-o-n-d-e-r-c-r-a-c-k HHHHHHHHHAAAAATTTTEEEEEEESSSSSS reality TVEEEEEEE
Last night I blew another gasket
.
My friends and I have been talking a lot about NASCAR lately (we're into suffering) and how insane it can make one drive on the freeway and how absolutely silly the sponsoring is so I'm especially sensitive about multinational corporate mind control right now.
I'm a very conflicted person. On the one hand I believe in an egalitarian utopia where we can all live together in peace. One sustainable society of people who only know and practice love.....sweet, sweet love. On the other I am a nonsense addict who is routinely distracted by the toys and fantasies of my culture. Back to my point.
As I was watching Survivor last night Probst came splashing across the waves in one of those Saving Private Ryan/D-Day death boats (you know the ones where the door drops and the first dozen soldiers get cut to shit and then the rest of the platoon uses their fallen brothers as shields.) His wondercraft was boldy sponsored in the huge orange lettering of you guessed it...Home Depot. It was a trully classic moment for reality television and a true disgrace to the memory of the allied soldiers that faught and died on the sands of Normandy.
anywho,
The survivors had the chance of picking 6 tools from Probst's mini-tool shop. It was really cute except that if this was a real game of survival those fools on the beach would have sounded their bansheee death screams....charged the boat....impale Probst on a rock bar and roast him like a pig on a spit. They instead did their dutiful duties and built doody latrines so they could shit in comfort for the remainder of their stay. Good for them. Thank you Home Depot!
Now I do realize must see tv Thursday night is one big commercial anyway. Thre are as many product endorsements inside the 40 minutes of show as inside the 20 minutes of commercials. The Apprentice especially! Trump's challenges almost inevitably pimp a billion dollar company or enterprise. It's capitalism like I've never witnessed before.
The Apprentice Corporations didn't have to build any latrines in their luxury suite but I couldn't help but notice, once again, the many Home Depot commercials during the breaks.
It came to me......Thursday night brought to you by Home Depot. Rock on London. Rock on Chicago. toothpaste! Nothing cleans your teeth any better!
The mind control is fantastic and I resist but I don't and I am the fool on the beach slurping cheap American beer on my days off. I can't wait to see who goes next and I'll be back for the next commercial and the more of the crap I watch the further away I get from being the utopian citizen I see through the fuzz. This too is an awful Tsunami! An awful, awful death wave.
During the last Depot commercial I saw a paint that spreads pink but dries white so you don't miss a spot.....what a fucking great idea!
w-o-n-d-e-r-c-r-a-c-k HHHHHHHHHAAAAATTTTEEEEEEESSSSSS reality TVEEEEEEE
Last night I blew another gasket
.
My friends and I have been talking a lot about NASCAR lately (we're into suffering) and how insane it can make one drive on the freeway and how absolutely silly the sponsoring is so I'm especially sensitive about multinational corporate mind control right now.
I'm a very conflicted person. On the one hand I believe in an egalitarian utopia where we can all live together in peace. One sustainable society of people who only know and practice love.....sweet, sweet love. On the other I am a nonsense addict who is routinely distracted by the toys and fantasies of my culture. Back to my point.
As I was watching Survivor last night Probst came splashing across the waves in one of those Saving Private Ryan/D-Day death boats (you know the ones where the door drops and the first dozen soldiers get cut to shit and then the rest of the platoon uses their fallen brothers as shields.) His wondercraft was boldy sponsored in the huge orange lettering of you guessed it...Home Depot. It was a trully classic moment for reality television and a true disgrace to the memory of the allied soldiers that faught and died on the sands of Normandy.
anywho,
The survivors had the chance of picking 6 tools from Probst's mini-tool shop. It was really cute except that if this was a real game of survival those fools on the beach would have sounded their bansheee death screams....charged the boat....impale Probst on a rock bar and roast him like a pig on a spit. They instead did their dutiful duties and built doody latrines so they could shit in comfort for the remainder of their stay. Good for them. Thank you Home Depot!
Now I do realize must see tv Thursday night is one big commercial anyway. Thre are as many product endorsements inside the 40 minutes of show as inside the 20 minutes of commercials. The Apprentice especially! Trump's challenges almost inevitably pimp a billion dollar company or enterprise. It's capitalism like I've never witnessed before.
The Apprentice Corporations didn't have to build any latrines in their luxury suite but I couldn't help but notice, once again, the many Home Depot commercials during the breaks.
It came to me......Thursday night brought to you by Home Depot. Rock on London. Rock on Chicago. toothpaste! Nothing cleans your teeth any better!
The mind control is fantastic and I resist but I don't and I am the fool on the beach slurping cheap American beer on my days off. I can't wait to see who goes next and I'll be back for the next commercial and the more of the crap I watch the further away I get from being the utopian citizen I see through the fuzz. This too is an awful Tsunami! An awful, awful death wave.
During the last Depot commercial I saw a paint that spreads pink but dries white so you don't miss a spot.....what a fucking great idea!
posted by el Craplastico | 9:07:00 AM
1 Comments:
Well said turbo!
For quite some time, as you are well aware of, I actually contemplated the idea of applying to be a contestant for Survivor. Part of it was that many of my loved ones told me I would be so perfect for the show. I probably would be. I'm a game player with a good sense of outdoorsmanship and I'm somewhat unpredictable and quasi-athletic. I'm also a bastard (figuratively speaking.)
I also considered a run because I want to have a million dollars....or $650,000 after taxes. Who doesn't?
I thought about this idea for a long while but I finally had to put it to bed last year. I finally decided not to even think about it anymore.
Why the change of heart?
I don't ever want to be in the semi-celebrity hell-prison a reality TVeee star finds themselves in after tribal council. In short, I enjoy my freedom and I know that I could never enjoy it the same way again if the world became a place where everybody knows my name.
Example: This year for my birthday my lady took me out for sushi and it was a wonderful dinner. For some reason the sushi joint was unusally busy for a weeknight. As I was enjoying another blast of saki who walks in the door but Lex. Lex Van DerBurger from Africa/All-Stars. You know, the tattoo guy.
This wasn't the first or last time we've run into him. He's seemingly everywhere. My favorite time we saw him was one day on highway one. We were cruising and I look to me left and there's a tattoo guy sitting on a fat chopper. I double take and lo and behold it's Lex! He looks at me and he knows that I know who he is and my lady knows too and we all exchange smiles and I give him the thumbs up and he screams off into the sunset.
So the sushi joint is at capacity and Lex and his party of 6 or so are standing there and I can tell he had a reservation but I also can tell it was neglected and he has a pissed look on his face but he's playing it cool and meanwhile every shmuck in the resturant knows who he is. People check him out but in that sly sort of, "I-don't-want-him-to-see-me-lookin-at-him" sort of way. 20 or so minutes pass and he's still standing there (under the microscope) waiting for a table while people like me play stupid eye games and I start feeling bad for him. This guy can't go anywhere without scrutiny and it's all his fault but I wonder if he thought about any of this as he mailed out his application. Did he realize that he could never go out for sushi, or ride a fat chopper again without assholes fawning over his celebrityship?....and he's not even a celebrity! Hell, he can't even get a table at the sushi joint!
Me and my honey get done with our meal and he's still standing there and who knows....maybe he's still standing there waiting for a table while someone contemplates standing up and yelling, "HEY, THAT'S LEX FROM SURVIVOR.....YOU KNOW, THE GUY WITH THE TATTOO'S!"
I had to use every bit of will power to stop myself from asking him how he coiuld stand the sight and smell of rice and fish after his days of fighting for immunity. Boy I bet he's never heard that one before!
My freedom is worth more to me than $650,000.
One more thing....
What the hell is with everyone running around in their underwear this season?
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